I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
