You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize