Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
