My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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