he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
