Can i not drive my cunt home
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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