Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize