Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
