The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
