i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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