Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
