they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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