Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
