never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I need a beard to bite.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
