yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
