paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
