Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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