So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
