i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
