Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
