My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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