i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Actions speak louder than pants.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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