conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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