We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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