I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
