I'm sorry my penis didn't work
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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