There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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