So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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