Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize