hell yes lets make some ravioli
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
