I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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