what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
sex in a hospital.. check
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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