You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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