Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize