You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
