i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
