are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
