I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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