Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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