I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My balls are so social today.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
