Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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