I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize