i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
