i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
