Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
