I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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