But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
