Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
