I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
