I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
