I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
