he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
two words: eviction party
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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