I hate your face
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
