so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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