so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
