"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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