I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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