she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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