Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize