I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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